Still here after all these years...

It has been a long, long time since I've posted on my blog.  I guess I've just not needed the outlet, but beyond that... life has moved forward.

My Allen is so much better in every way except his right eyesight, continued dizziness, and memory.  We can discuss something and five minutes later he won't remember.  Terribly frustrating some days.  He still sits and watches TV way too much, but I can't seem to change that.  We just keep on and I stay busy with what I love doing... we moved to the Hill Country here in Texas and I love wandering around here discovering more the of the beauty around it.  I love quilting, gardening, fixing up the house we bought here in Wimberley.  I get Allen out as much as he's willing to wander around and do things with me.

I continue to wait and trust.  I still hope for continued healing for my precious husband. 

Well, I'm back...

I need to blog and vent... I've hit the wall and I don't know what to do.
I can't seem to get Allen interested in doing anything besides sitting in his recliner and watching TV or napping. He used to read a lot, but his eyes, dizziness and lethargy have worked against him doing that much now. He's always been a couch potato. That was why he got so heavy and between that and the BP his aneurysm burst. He was 'bent' toward them with his dad and brother having them, but nevertheless... physical circumstances didn't help. He's lost weight and is healing and really is improving all the time, but I can't help but feel it's not good for him to sit around so much. I let it go as necessary because of all dizziness he always has and that's true. I probably would feel the same way if I was dizzy all the time. But what kind of life is it to just sit and watch us do what we do and not have any activities short of conversations, tv, church and lifegroup a couple of times a month. We are going to the stroke support group when we can, but it's an hour. He goes on errands with me when it works and he feels like it. I'm a homebody, too, so I don't go out much. I do have my quilting bees and guild meetings that I go to, but that's not anything he's interested in.
ARGH... I feel like I'm failing him by not being more active in finding things for him to do during the day. I just don't know what to do. If I don't push something and I mean push it, it doesn't happen.
I haven't been weepy over his situation in a long time, but I am now. I just feel kind of helpless with it.
I'll consider any ideas on how to improve this situation.

Connecting Threads

I love Connecting Threads !!!

Sweet Leslie...

Again... I'm not keeping up here much. Leslie... I think you're the only one checking here now! Bless you for staying around and keeping an eye on what's going on. I put a message on the comment page, but here it is again...
Leslie... you are such a wonder to keep checking on us. God is good and things are okay. Christy is not healed, but she is coping and not in as much pain. We are still waiting. We hope that something will come along that will help her. Allen gets better and better all the time. It sneaks up and pokes me...LOL He will say or do something that shows he's remembered something he didn't before. He's using a cane now because he's 'tired of the walker'. That's awesome. It gives him the balance he needs though he's still dizzy. It's near impossible to get into a good neurologist where we live so we are still waiting on an appointment. I look forward to moving to central Texas where there are better doctors and more of them. Thank you for checking in. If you'd like to link to my facebook where I post a little more often now cause it's short and sweet, you'd be welcomed to. I'm under 'Linda Fox Chase'. Blessings to you from South Texas!

We need another miracle, Lord!

Well, if anyone is still reading and praying...
My middle daughter, Christy, needs our prayer and needs a miracle from God. About four years ago she hurt her back pretty badly lifting furniture. Over time and with adjustments her muscles built up around it and she could cope. Long story on how she got to this point, but bottom line... she has 6 herniated disks, doctors don't want to do surgery, she's in constant pain, using a wheelchair to get around and looking at long-term disability. It's the pain that makes coping so difficult. She is so worried because her precious husband, Peter, is doing all the house living stuff after work and taking care of Betsy. Betsy goes to preschool during the weekdays because Christy couldn't get her schoolwork done and couldn't physically chase a 2 yr old right now. She is really discouraged. The Vicodyn she lives on has complications and doesn't completely kill the pain, either.

ONLY GOD can take care of this. Please pray.

A year gone by...

You know how sometimes a year can seem like yesterday and other times a lifetime ago?

One year ago, on September 28, 201o, our world got turned upside down. Allen came home with a tremendous headache after work. I was rocking Betsy and said hello. He said hello to the girls and went to the kitchen for a snack. He headed back to the bedroom, as he usually does, to lay down and rest. A short time later Erin saw her daddy leaning up against the dresser not moving. He said he was in tremendous pain and couldn't straighten up. I ran in and he asked me to run cool water over the back of his head while he leaned over the tub. Within a few minutes he started talking gibberish and then passed out. Jamie called EMS and our journey began...

As I wrote in older posts, we went from VBMC Harlingen, expecting that he might die. After a week, still in a coma, we were airflighted to Houston where we rode a roller coaster of waiting for him to wake up, but hearing doctors say to prepare to let him go.

After a week here, a month in Houston, a month in ICU in a Harlingen LTAC and two months in Brownsville rehab hospital (not counting the nightmare week in Retama), our precious Allen came home to us. I had my dear, precious husband and the girls had their daddy (and granddaddy). Over seven months at home, including 3 or so months of home health rehab has taken him from nearly bedridden to up and around with a walker. The dizziness won't seem to go away completely and he still gets confused, but each week brings more healing.

I am every grateful, all our family is, that Allen is still with us. And better yet, he says he is grateful, too. With all he's gone through, it would be easy for him to wish he hadn't made it. After all, he'd be in the arms of Jesus and in heaven now. Sometimes I feel a little selfish for wanting him to stay, but not enough to change my mind.

Update and a move???

Well, loved ones... update... Allen is doing well, but the dizziness keeps him from moving around as much as would be good for him. The Drs say it's normal and will hopefully subside in time. He is remembering more and more, but still gets confused about things that have happened or he thinks happened, but it's less and less. God is good! Unfortunately, insurance will not cover much on any therapy so we have to try to keep it up on our own, which is hard to keep him motivated to do that. Pray.

But some other news I need your prayers about. We've wanted to move to the Hill Country area ... country out of Austin... for a long, long time. It would be closer to my brothers. It seems like this might be the time to make that move. Allen likes the idea and we are looking. We are getting things done around the house to prepare to put it on the market and test the waters. Please pray that God will open the doors HE wants open and give us peace as we follow HIS will. We are looking at land, talking to builders, looking at houses online, having a friend check out properties and talking to real estate agents up that way. We have an agent here that will list the house in the next few weeks... The hard thing is leaving those we love so much here and it IS hard to think about, but we still keep feeling this tug. We will lay it down though if it's not God's plan. We are trying to be prepared for whatever the Lord brings our way.

Home away from Home...

We had a wonderful vacation last week! We went to Killeen for a couple of days to visit my brother, Jim and Gail. We went to Belton's waterpark on Sunday with Gail and my great-niece, Michaela. Jamie visited a friend from Temple and Allen and Jim spent the day at the house watching westerns.

We spent a few days in Denton next visiting my brother Charlie and his family. Patsy had been under the weather, but we had a great visit with Charlie, Pat, Jon, Amy and Pat's sister, Jenny.

On Thursday we left for San Marcos and Wimberley. It was great. We have long dreamed of living in the hill country. We drove around a lot and looked at houses and properties. We don't know when the Lord will open the door for it, but it's in our heart and prayers. Since Allen is 'retired' now we can live wherever the Lord leads and if he is leading us this way it sounds wonderful.

We were glad to get home to our own beds, though. And God brought this wonderful handyman around who made us a great deal to do some work around the house. We came home to trimmed trees... powerwashed, rotten wood replaced and freshly painted house.... YEA! It looks great and I told Allen all his honey-dos got done!

It's been a while...

Working, house and car issues, keeping our family going where we need to be when we need to be... that has kept me busy... and it is so wonderful. It seems like a new kind of normalcy. I haven't always been able to do what I've wanted to do, but that's okay.

For Allen's therapy, we're between insurance approval... grrr. We are finishing up physical therapy but not able to have speech and cognitive for a little while. I just spoke to Lori, the most gifted, sweet christian speech pathologist who has helped Allen so much. She is looking forward to coming back for more therapy. Heather, our sweet, patient PT has helped Allen, as well. He gets tired of it, but he is getting stronger, standing longer, walking longer. Once the dizziness is better, I believe he will walk and move much better.

If you ever have the opportunity to spend time with my Allen or with someone else who has had this kind of stroke in which the frontal lobe was affected, be prepared to speak intelligently to someone who sometimes cannot pick out the right words or has gotten details of dreams, imaginations, television and reality all mixed in a way that seems very real to them. Don't argue that they're wrong or think them crazy. You can help them understand the way you see it and I am told it helps the Executive function in their frontal lobes to begin reassociating what is true and real. As their pathways are rewiring and finding the way to and from the correct information, most find their way back to a clearer understanding and less confusion. We are believing that for Allen. God has been so good and I expect no less of him as we travel through this season. Allen is becoming more and more understanding of what has happened. Not that he remembers it, he was in a coma. But little bit by little bit short term memories of conversations and planting themselves and being more easily retrieved.

I continuously run into so many of you who are still praying for Allen, for me and the girls. I am so amazed at the faithfulness of God's people. You are so wonderful to hold us up. I still am being carried through each day. I remind Allen always of your prayers, God's faithfulness and God's reminders for us to wait and trust. "Where else would we go, Lord? You have the words of eternal life."

Little victories...

Allen has had low pulse rate, blood pressure a little high and for a few days this last week he was awfully lethargic and 'goofy', ie..more confabulations. So... I took him to the doctor Tuesday and he did a urine check to see if he had a UTI and even after culturing... NONE! That's really a victory because after so long with a catheter in the hospital, it seemed like he was constantly getting UTIs. It could come back, but not as likely since it was completely clear. Thank you, Lord Jesus. As for the low pulse, the doctor changed his BP meds and we're working on the dosage to also get his BP to a better place. They also found he is a little anemic and low thyroid, so both of those can make him lethargic. I wish he was off all meds, but you know, we can do what we have to do. God has obviously got has hands on the man and will walk him through this, too.

Well, my work is going well. God is good to provide it for me and it's working well with my home schedule. The guys and TJ are great to work with. Allen is getting used to some of the comings and goings I'm doing for work and he's really flexible with what's going on around the house. My desktop died last week. The True Solutions geniuses are working on it. They are so great. I am so glad I have my laptop, though. I'm just hoping I didn't lose the pictures I just put on the hard drive of the desktop.

We kept Betsy last night and today and it was great. She is full of fun and energy and no, I can't keep up with her, but thank the good Lord for Erin.

I did something dumb, though. I went out to weedeat the yard so Erin could mow. I was moving some heavy planter buckets that I'd used last year for vegies and yep, threw my back out. I kept going and got the trimming done, but I hate being slowed down.