A message from Allen...

I was telling Allen about how many people have been praying for him and following the blog and facebook. He just asked me to write and tell everyone how much he appreciates the prayers and he's asking God to bless you equal to how much he's been blessed.
Wow... God is doing some incredible things in my dear love. He does get frustrated that things he thinks happened didn't and that he forgets what happened. TV, dreams, thoughts and reality get so mixed up. But we have these incredible moments when things are very clear.

Thank you, Dear Lord.

Resurrection Sunday 2011

C

We had a beautiful celebration today. Not only did we get up early and go to the early service, but Allen came with us for the first time since his injury. He used his walker and said he didn't even get tired. It was quite a walk for him and lots of stops to and from to greet people along the way. What a wonderful blessing it was to be by him at church once again. Praising the Lord. Being loved on by God's people. He sang and raised his hands to praise God. I am so blessed.

The program at church was teens painting canvases while another sang and the pictures are the finished canvases. Really incredible and moving what God did for us by sending his son not just to die for us, which he did, but to live forever for us as we get to live forever with him.

After church, Christy, Peter and Betsy came and we had a wonderful lunch and Betsy looked for eggs and cracked confetti eggs on our heads and her own and then she swam in the redneck swimming pool! LOL ... she loves riding in the wheelbarrow and Erin filled it with water for her. She had a wonderful time and we had one, too, while we sat outside and watched. We watched movies and had a wonderful time. God is so good to us.

And life goes on...

It's funny how we're getting into routines around here. Still Allen is progressing and still he has short term memory loss.

This morning, like lots of mornings, he woke up not knowing what happened to him or remember much of the day before.

This morning, however, on this beautiful Good Friday morning, he woke up and (with walker) went to the kitchen to let the dogs out of the garage. They sleep there on their little dog bed and whine at the door each morning when they've decided we've had enough sleep. This is the first time he's done that since the injury, but he used to do it each morning when he got up to get ready for work. IMPROVEMENT! He was also heading to the closet to get his uniform to get ready for work. I reminded him that he was retired now and didn't have to go and he was dumbfounded, like usual, about that. He decided to go back to bed and we lay there and talked quite a while about his past, more recently the last 10 or 15 years which are sketchy. He was amazed at it and said he felt a little lost. Believe it or not, IMPROVEMENT. It all means that roads are starting to form to and from information in his head and that that Executive Function is trying to wake up.

As I may or may not have posted, we had been in a quandary over how to school Erin for next year. She has been homeschooled the last 7 years and I never thought about putting her in a traditional school, but for next year it seemed like that might be the answer. With helping Allen and now working from home as 'dispatcher' for True Solutions, my time would be limited, I was thinking. And Jamie has done so much to help with homeschooling this year and can next year, but she will begin a more intensive online program to finish her degree next year.

So... we checked into a charter school here which was pretty much the only one I would choose to put Erin in because of reputation, discipline and mostly the Lord's peace with it. But... they haven't had an 8th grade opening for next year, so ... we now have lots of peace that the Lord will continue to give us what we need to continue home schooling next year. I thought about our regular government schools available, but not with much confidence. Then Jamie, who teaches with the AVID tutoring program that does college prep at a local public middle school, came home saying... "NO, NEVER." She loves teaching there, but doesn't want her sister there. Says something because she was homeschooled through graduation and there was a time when she was going into middle school that she really, really wanted to go to public school.

You know, I have to realize that I cared for Mom and Dad when they were aging and ill, as well as working from home in a similar job and still homeschooled. God is sufficient.

Now, I'm kind of excited about next year already. We have ordered one of the best science programs for homeschooling. It's Apologia Science. I've always felt lacking in the science area and had been interested in this program, but it was more pricey than some and I 'made do' with other programs. Well, they clearanced out 1st version for the 2nd version and YEA!!!! I got it.

Jamie has opted to continue her English for next year and there's nobody better to teach her. She'll focus on writing and literature and I'm getting "Daily Grams" to keep her brushed up on grammar skills.

We have Allen's college math that he never got to do and it's the college remedial program with online work and study helps. We went over it and it's perfect to keep her going forward and be ready for college algebra.

Erin will continue reading and doing papers and projects for history and begins the post-civil war period. PE will continue to be our Kinect exercise program, though I'd love to find another outlet for her, as well. Typing will be a priority next year and she will become proficient in it. There are a few other things we'll be adding in and I am focusing on more outside activities, such as 4H. So... that's it in a nutshell.

I am happy for clarity and the Lord's leading. I believe the Lord allowed us to stick our toes in the water of public/charter education choices and gave us peace to continue the path we've been on for a long time now. Do I think homeschooling is perfect? No, no educational choice we have is perfect, but it's perfect for us for the time being and my goal has always been to teach my children to love learning and how to learn, how to find the information they need as they need it.

The Joker Returns

Allen had a week or two with more confusion and fatigue. It took a while to be sure, but it looked like another UTI. They seem to cause the confusion and fatigue in Allen, which is not uncommon. So... back on antibiotics, along with the cranberry, D-mannose, and probiotics we've been using to help combat the antibiotic repercussions.

So..he's better, less confabulations than we had for a while.

This morning he was so groggy! Took forever to wake up and then when he did and had a shower and shave and breakfast... still groggy. Well, mid afternoon when Heather, the PT, came... she had him standing still for an extended time to work on balance and he kept teasing her that he was going to use her to keep balance. Then had him walking forward and backward and he obviously thought it was silly, so he began to MOONWALK backward. What a character. He still needs help to keep his balance, but he's getting stronger.

Allen is coming to terms... sometimes... with the confabulations. He really feels like what he says really happened. It's got to be incredibly frustrating for your brain to play games with you. From what I've learned it's part of the frontal lobe's Executive Function that lets our 'self' know what is real and what is fiction, tv, dreams, imagination. The article I recently read encouraged that the Executive Function will wake up and do it's job one of these days. It's just wait and trust and pray... hmmm

Where have I heard that before?

Oh, yeah... besides the last 50 years... many, many times over the last 6 1/2 months, the Lord has been very clear that that is our position ... What a safe place to be, held in the Lord's arms... waiting, trusting, praying. Thank you, Lord for all you've done and all you're still doing in our lives... for my precious husband, loving, giving daughters, and family and friends who have continually held us up in prayer.

Insurance Coverage?

Well, I guess I could have gotten pretty discouraged and I did cry a few tears, but God's grace has been so comforting. A few days ago I got a call from the pharmacy that Allen's insurance was discontinued.... EEK>> Well, it was getting switched over to Cobra, but the insurance dropped the ball and didn't contact me like they told me they would. So... I had 60 days and got it taken care of. I had been told that Cobra would just be 102% of his previous premiums, but...
the girl on the insurance end of the phone told me that to cover Allen, Erin and myself would be $1028 !!!!! Can you believe that? That's insane! Well, I just asked them to keep covering Allen (for $350 a month) and drop Erin and I. It wouldn't be good, but we have to keep Allen covered.

So... They still didn't get their act together so the pharmacy could fill the meds. The second one I talked to said... Sorry, the insurance would be retroactive, but if I needed them now I had to pay for them. Well, this included all his medical care, including his therapy... grrrr.

Then I talked to the home health agency and she said she'd have to wait until his approval went through before she could recertify Allen for more therapy, but... she prayed with me before we got off the phone asking God to take care of the situation.

So... I was online at the benefits site and trying to get the payment taken care of and I clicked on the link that talked of his cobra benefits and it was much, much lower than they said. So... back on the phone to the insurance and guess what? Target provides insurance at employee cost for 12 months in the case of long term disability. Isn't God awesome? We have another 12 months of coverage for the family at less than it was going to be for just Allen per month.

Allen is doing well. Still improving daily. Getting stronger and making sense more. He still confabulates, but when I talk to him about it he seems to take it in that it didn't really happen. I never want him to think I think he's lying or crazy because it is never that. This is just one of the symptoms of the stroke that will heal with time. All the stuff in his head is mixed up and dreams and reality get mixed up, too. He's always had these very vivid dreams that are like movies, so it's kinda expected that he would still have them, I suppose.

So, come over and visit Allen if you're near. The company and remembrance of friends and family is a good thing. If he says something weird, just tell him you're not remembering it that way. Little by little it is getting better. Our God is an awesome God. I'm asking the Lord to complete that miracle and lift him out of the fog or lift the fog off of him, whatever. I want the Lord to clear his mind completely, miraculously. He is a wonderful man who is still showing me and our family so much love. He loves God and prays for us. I know it's not impossible for God. Think about how much God has done over the last six months. It's incredible.