I need to blog and vent... I've hit the wall and I don't know what to do.
I can't seem to get Allen interested in doing anything besides sitting in his recliner and watching TV or napping. He used to read a lot, but his eyes, dizziness and lethargy have worked against him doing that much now. He's always been a couch potato. That was why he got so heavy and between that and the BP his aneurysm burst. He was 'bent' toward them with his dad and brother having them, but nevertheless... physical circumstances didn't help. He's lost weight and is healing and really is improving all the time, but I can't help but feel it's not good for him to sit around so much. I let it go as necessary because of all dizziness he always has and that's true. I probably would feel the same way if I was dizzy all the time. But what kind of life is it to just sit and watch us do what we do and not have any activities short of conversations, tv, church and lifegroup a couple of times a month. We are going to the stroke support group when we can, but it's an hour. He goes on errands with me when it works and he feels like it. I'm a homebody, too, so I don't go out much. I do have my quilting bees and guild meetings that I go to, but that's not anything he's interested in.
ARGH... I feel like I'm failing him by not being more active in finding things for him to do during the day. I just don't know what to do. If I don't push something and I mean push it, it doesn't happen.
I haven't been weepy over his situation in a long time, but I am now. I just feel kind of helpless with it.
I'll consider any ideas on how to improve this situation.
4 comments:
Good morning. I truly understand your frustration. Sometimes, when someone you love very much is not realising their true potential, it is difficult to watch and easy to blame yourself. Maybe the time has come when you must accept that the 'old Allen' has gone. The way things are may be your new reality, and you will be given the strength to live with it. Perhaps it's time to let God/Nature take over, and acknowledge that you have done all you can. It's not admitting defeat, just knowing that there is a time to take a step back, give thanks for the goodness that has been shown to you, and gather your family and friends around you, knowing that they will always be there for you. I'm thinking of you and your sweet family. Blessings Lesley
I hope things have improved for you, or at least you have the serenity in your heart which will allow you to accept things as they are. My thoughts are with you,
Blessings Lesley
Linda, I am just now reading this blog. I am a bit slow sometimes. You probably have found some answers on your own by now. But wondered if you had thought about backing off just a bit for a little while and letting him do things he can do sitting in his chair. Can he do things with his hands like wrap small presents? Or put stamps on cards or mail? Get him some Legos or Lincoln Logs!! Read the paper, get him to read to you out loud from the paper, a book or maybe a child's Bible if that would be easier. Don't do ANYTHING for him that he can do for himself, even if it takes forever!! lol. Sing songs together, Christmas songs are perfect. Get a couple of puzzles you think he could manage with a little help. Most of all, try not to show your frustration and try not to push. If he doesn't want to do it "right now" , leave it and maybe he will do it on his time. Kind of like a child in some ways. Do you play cards of any kinds. Sweetie, you have done everything you can for him and I am sure he knows how very much he is loved. Beyond that, only God knows how far he will go and it will be in God's time. God knows you only want the best for Allen. Don't feel guilty when you have things to do that don't include Allen. You need your time and he needs his. He has come a long, long way. Rest with that for a bit and just enjoy the season. You are a jewell!! And I love you. (just rambling from someone who knows little about much of anything!! lol) Merry Christmas and love you bunches!!
Hi, it's me agaun. I don'teven know if you're still blogging, but for some reason you are very much on my mind at the moment, (how are thngs with you and your sweet family?) Unfortunately I've had a spell of ill health.....went for a routine scan in december and a 4 inch blood clot was found between my kidney and my heart. Not a lot of fun. Things are much better now.Yhinking of you. Blessings Lesley UK
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