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Friday, December 31, 2010

I'm feeling overwhelmed...

Allen's caseworker talked to me about starting to come for Allen's therapy. So the plan was to be there Wednesday morning 8:30 a.m. Everyone around has had this 'bug' and I started feeling punky Tuesday night and called to let them know I wouldn't be in. All I did was sleep for two days and ached. Other than a little heaviness in my chest, that's all I felt, but I couldn't go expose Allen to it. So this morning (Friday) I was able to go in and watch his therapy. They all say he is progressing, but very, very slowly. They want to show me everything I need to do in case he is sent home before he is able to stand, walk or transfer himself to a chair. God is bigger than all of this, but I am feeling overwhelmed. I blame it on not feeling 100%, but I'm not sure that not feeling 100% isn't because my soul is pretty overwhelmed.

Today I read to Allen and myself...
Psalm 43:5 Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Allen is getting stronger, but fighting off two different infections and on two strong antibiotics. He goes off saying strange things and it seems to make perfect sense to him, but not anyone else. He remembers bits of his past, but there is a lot he doesn't remember. Even the speech therapist is concerned about it. I am tired of thinking about what will come next. I know, I know, trust for today, tomorrow has enough worries. I know all the truths. I can quote the scriptures, too. But my heart... my heart gets overwhelmed. I am trying to put my hope in God and I WILL praise him.



2 comments:

Kim said...

I am praying for you and Allen. God WILL help you through this.

Paula Sanldin said...

Linda, please lean on all of your wonderful friends and family. We/they are all there for you. I know you have to be overwhelmed as well as very, very tired. You know that God will stand with you and support you. We hope Allen can fight these infections off soon so that he can really concentrate on his therapy and get better for himself as well as all of you. We are praying for Allen, you and the girls. We know it has to be very hard on all of you. Take care and we love you all.